Half Dome

I was on vacation with 3 generations of women celebrating Mother’s Day in Honolulu this past May when I received a message from my best friend saying, ”Join me on the Half Dome hike with Rotary Club Sonoma in support of Sonoma Ecology Center raising funds for World hunger specifically for Sonoma Valley families”. I said yes because I had never been on the trails in Yosemite, and the hike is for a cause. Also, I thought to myself, there must be an easier route because none of us are seasoned rock climbers like Kevin Jorgenson.

Once I returned, we met with the group of 5 plus our guide to take a Sunday hike in Sonoma County. Get acquainted with the crew, get a sense of our varying levels of hiking experience, and hear about the logistics. 

About a few weeks out, after hearing multiple times, “Are you sure that you want to climb Half Dome? It has cables and it’s quite challenging” I googled Half Dome hike, I saw the images and called my friend saying,

Holy smokes, I had no idea that climbing Half Dome meant we were climbing with cables. It’s mostly a 70% grade!

I had been reading such quotes as, “It’s the climb people die to do but die doing”. Originally, I had in my mind that there must be a easy route up on the other side of the face that permits every day hikers. Wow, I was truly unprepared.

I had not been training the last 7 months. Rather I had been in physical therapy doing Pilates and Gyrotonic method to work on back issues, grip issues: I had nerve & numbness in my left hand specifically a few fingers plus a torn right forearm, tight psoas muscles from years of running & spin classes plus I had a few toes w/early stage of neuropathy. This was the first time I was going into a physically challenging event without the confidence of training for it, and the full usage of all my parts.

At this point, I had paid, purchased gear, and wanted to experience Half Dome with my friend and the team. With stories circulating in my head, I was freaking out because of all the things that I seriously needed, it was my GRIP. I was obsessing on reading all the articles and stories written about climbers, know this territory inside and out. With only 2 weeks left, I started to focus on my grip with my trainer. Telling myself, my family & friends, that it would be a game day decision.

On June 7, we woke up at 2am to hike with headlamps to Half Dome. Our guide wanted to be at sub dome by dawn, and on Half Dome at sunrise not only to experience the amazing skylight but also to avoid crowds. You share the same 2 cables with climbers going up and climbers going down.

We all arrived on schedule and to witness the majestic Half Dome rock in person, it was breathtakingly intimidating. My friend who had trained for it was the first to hit the cables, I followed her so that we could be at the top together. On my way up, I could not get a solid grip, I kept sliding down the cables, as the incline increased. I had my youngest daughter in my mind saying, “Mama, I don’t want you to die climbing Half Dome”. As a skier, we always say fear of skiing is a liability to you and all the skiers on the mountain. At that point about 1/3 way up, I turned around told our guide that I had to come down. I descended to the bottom, and looked up at my team ascending at different paces so that each one of them could conquer the summit.

At the bottom, I asked myself 2 questions: Can you accept being the only one to not climb Half Dome with your team? I knew that answer, NO.

My next question, “What are you going to do? Since my legs are strong, I redirected my game plan. Now holding up the rear of the line, I changed my pace, my technique, talked with my team mates, and encouraged team members as they approached the summit ahead of me. 

Our guide responded, “You rebounded & hustled quickly”. I wanted to be with my team, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

The entire experience that was once plagued with my fears was transformed. Now I was in the zone, self-aware, no restriction, no fear, calm, energized, connected with the strength of our team. I experienced heightened awareness of the magnificent surroundings, communicating with the community of people descending simultaneously, fully present in the moment mentally, physically, and spiritually. I whole-heartedly had an exhilarating ascent to the top of Half Dome.

For me, Half Dome was a learning about commitment. Focusing on what works letting go of what doesn’t work. Check in with emotions specifically FEAR, paying attention to the behaviors that arise because these interferences are purposeful resources which transform into an acute Self-Awareness. The ability to release the mind, embrace natural instincts, and allow the free spirit to be in the moment without distraction is “A Way of Being” that will transform the mindset and nurture pure joy and love in all life experiences.

Dana Freudenberger | June 7, 2021